Browsing Category:


How to Banish Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Uncomfortable truth incoming: at times, we are all a little bit responsible for lowering our self-esteem and self-worth. Though the beginning of these habits comes from outside sources, negative self-talk, putting ourselves down, and yes, even the dreaded impostor syndrome help keep our self-worth low. Here are a few ways to banish low self-esteem and self-worth to keep yourself feeling good and strong.

Be Nice

To yourself, that is. Think about your friends — would you ever say even half of the negative things to them that you say to yourself? Probably not. When negative thoughts about yourself start to run rampant, try thinking of talking to yourself like talking to a friend. What sometimes works for me is to think of talking to my inner child (because we’re all just scared kids on the inside, right?). You don’t want to hurt that kid or that friend. You want to lift them up. Do yourself the same kindness.

Focus on Your Strengths

If your self-esteem is tanking because you’re failing at something, try focusing on a different thing that you’re good at for a while. Remind your mind and body that you are not failing, it’s just a moment, and there are plenty of things that you’re amazing at. Once you’re feeling better, go back to the challenge and take a run at it with a better mindset. Even if you don’t succeed, you’ll feel better.

Build a Good Network

Studies continuously prove that humans do better in life with a good support system. Your friends and family want to see you succeed (and if they don’t, find new supporters). If you’re feeling down on your self-worth and self-esteem, find one of your champions and chat with them for a bit. They love you. They’ll remind you why you’re awesome. Hopefully, the message will sink in ;).

How to Banish Low SElf Esteem and Self Worth Pink Pin

Stop Apologizing

Everyone messes up. It is okay. Making a mistake is not a character flaw, it’s human. Don’t apologize for being who you are.

Draw Boundaries

Individuals who struggle with their self-esteem tend to say yes to other people, even if they don’t want to. Learn to say no to anything that will put you in a bad headspace or make you feel angry, sad, resentful, or burdened. It may be hard at first, but you’ll feel better about yourself in the long run.

Write in a Journal

Journaling is private, for you and only you. It’s where you’re allowed to say whatever you want about whatever you want. Sometimes it’s hard to admit that you’re having feelings of self-doubt, low self-worth, and overall ickiness. Journaling allows you to get those feelings out without having to confess any secrets to another person.

How to Banish Low Self Esteem and Self Worth Teal Pin


We all wear a mask to some extent in our daily lives (otherwise, would anyone have a job?). However, it’s important to allow the real you to shine through, even if that’s just with your friends. You are good enough. The real you is good enough. And if someone doesn’t like it, remind yourself that you don’t like everyone, either. As long as you’re being yourself, that’s all anyone can ask for.

Help Others

Volunteering, or just helping out someone who needs it, is a great way to make a difference in the world. Even something small, like helping an elderly neighbor with a task or buying someone’s drink behind you in line at Starbucks, can go a long way. You’ll do some good and also remind yourself that your actions are important.

Be Present

We spend a lot of time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Instead of focusing on the dumb thing you said in fourth grade (trust me, these things keep me awake at night too!) or worrying about tomorrow’s workload, try to be present in the moment. Enjoy what’s happening right here, right now, and let the rest go.

Clean House (Figuratively and Literally)

Literally: Clean your space. Everyone feels better in a clean space. Declutter, hire someone if you want, just get your home looking and feeling its best. Figuratively: Clean your life of people and things that aren’t contributing to your happiness. Being the best version of yourself means surrounding yourself with people who love you and opportunities that give you a chance to shine.

How to Banish Low Self Esteem and Self Worth Purple Pin

How to Succeed by Focusing on Failure

We all experience a fear of failure at some point in our lives, right? Unless, of course, you were born with perfect self-esteem or had a supportive family or something 😉 Impostor syndrome is real, as the hundreds of millions of TikTok views to the hashtag demonstrates. So how do you succeed by focusing on failure? Here are some helpful strategies.

Reframe Your “Failures”

Nelson Mandela famously said, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” Were truer words ever spoken? It’s okay to try and not succeed. Most successful people — whether that’s in business, relationships, or other areas of life — fail multiple times before they achieve success.

What’s important is your mindset. If you reframe your failures as a learning opportunity, you have the chance to change your mindset about failure. Instead of berating yourself, you will comes to see every “failure” as a win because it brought you experience (hopefully).

Face Your Fears

After a failure, have you ever had the thought, “Well, I’m never trying that again”? The first time I bombed at standup, I decided I would never get onstage again. (Spoiler alert: I did.) The next time I got up, I didn’t bomb, and it left a better taste in my mouth.

No one is awesome at everything 100 percent of the time. But the people who succeed face their fear of failure head on and keep battling it until they win. If a fear of failing is holding you back, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but you need to run head on into that fear. Show it who’s boss and find success through failure.

How to Succeed by Focusing on Failure Pink Pin

Don’t Give Up

Again, it can be tempting to just jump ship after a perceived failure. But giving up never got anyone what they wanted. Focus on your attitude about what you’re doing. Is it something you really want? Then don’t let setbacks stop you. Celebrate small steps. And don’t give up until you’ve gotten where you want to go.

Figure out the Cause

Did you fail because you weren’t prepared enough? Or was it because you were so scared you self-sabotaged? Or maybe your timing wasn’t great. Most successful people will tell you that timing plays an enormous role in success.

If you can, step back and analyze the failure. Was there something you could have done differently? Analyzing a failure can help establish some distance, so you can view it objectively and hopefully remove some of the bad feelings there.

How to Succeed by Focusing on Failure Green Pin

Take a Pause

It can be hard to go right back into trying something after you’ve experienced a loss. Be kind to yourself and, if necessary, take a break. I cannot tell you how many times a year I quit something after a setback (writing, acting, comedy, whatever), and end up missing it in a few weeks. Distance can create perspective, allow you to process, and dive back in when you’re ready.

Own Your Part, But Don’t Lower Your Goals

This may take some distance (see last paragraph), but look at your situation honestly and ask yourself what part you played in the failure. Odds are there is something you could do differently to change the outcome. That being said, don’t dull your ambitions just because you don’t achieve something the first, fourth, tenth, or hundredth time. If you really want it, keep your eyes on your endgame and make it happen.

What are some of your strategies to succeed by focusing on failure? Leave me a comment or shoot me a note and let me know!

Stress Management 101

Stress isn’t always bad.  Good stress motivates us.  It propels us forward in our life and makes us achieve our goals.  It’s called eustress.  Good stress helps us meet challenges is everyday life.

But then. . . there’s the bad stress.  The bad stress can wreak havoc on your life.  It weakens the immune system, boosts cortisol levels in the brain, causes weight gain.  Yuck.

Here’s the thing – stress in life is inevitable.  But the way you respond to it and your coping techniques can drastically reduce the problems it causes in your life and health.  Here are a few ways to manage stress so it doesn’t become bad stress and take over your life.

The Best Ways to Manage Stress Pin - Beauty Chaos


It’s my favorite tip again! This decluttering is a little different.  This time, it’s about decluttering your relationships.  Get rid of the people in your life who are littering it with negativity.  You can’t eliminate all negativity, but if there are people who are causing you more harm than good, trim them out.  If they’re your family, cut back on your interactions with them. Surround yourself with positivity.


I am just as addicted to my phone as the next girl.  But have you ever sat at a table where everyone at it is on their phone, looked around and thought, ‘What the f*ck are we all doing?’ And social media can cause tons of stress because it brings up feelings of comparison (the killer of joy). Give yourself an hour or more every day without your phone and computer. Doesn’t have to be the TV because, hello, Gilmore Girls is the solution to all stress.  But don’t stare at the TV to close to bedtime either.

Manage your time.

I had this friend who was constantly late, constantly stressed out, and never planned properly for anything.  She was miserable most of the time and could not figure out why.  Nothing is more stressful than not having enough time in the day/week to complete all of your tasks.  I know it makes me sound like an old, boring person, but “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” has a point.  Wake up a little early if you need extra time.  Don’t rob yourself of sleep, but plan out your day in advance so that you have structure.  The busier you get, the more time management becomes a hugely important activity!

Make to-do lists.

Confession: I make to do lists and sometimes put things I’ve already done that day on them just to cross it off because it feels so good. Which lowers my stress.  See?  If you’re feeling overwhelmed, write down the stuff you’ve got to accomplish and tackle things one by one.  If you focus on one task at a time, everything becomes more manageable. It will help you feel organized and focused. And it doesn’t have to end with to-do lists.  Make a grocery list.  A chore list. A list of your blessings.  Go nuts!

Practice yoga and/or meditation. 

Does this sound familiar? It should.  I harp on this sh*t all the time.  Meditate for a minute a day.  Then increase to two.  Then five.  It will improve the quality of your life so much.  And if you don’t know where to start, check out my post on the best meditation podcasts. I also firmly believe in the healing power of yoga.  There are many different disciplines within yoga, so if you try one and don’t like it, try another.  I’m a huge fan of Ashtanga, but some people prefer Hatha.  Find your niche.

Stress Management 101 Pin - Beauty Chaos

Get outside.

Go for a walk.  Get some vitamin D (*cough* wear sunscreen *cough*) Sunlight and fresh air helps with depression and anxiety, but it will also help clear your head and help you deal better with the stress in your life.

Clean a little bit every day.

Okay, I’m bad with this one, admittedly.  My day often runs away with me.  But if I do one chore every day, it doesn’t save cleaning everything for one day of the week, and it makes my environment more pleasant.  Vacuum one day.  Clean the kitchen the next.  Do laundry on the third day.  Nothing will make you feel more a mess than being surrounded by a mess.

Set up a budget.

Hooooly hell.  I set up my first budget just a few years ago, and I cannot believe  I made it through so much of my life without one.  Stressing about money is the worst kind of stress.  It can make you feel out of control and a failure.  So again, plan.  Know exactly where your money is going to go.  Give yourself some wiggle room, if you can swing it.  And put together a savings.  You never know when your car’s going to break down or your cat’s going to get sick or whatever.  Microsoft Excel has a few great budget templates.  I took theirs and just tailored it for my life.

Get a massage.

I don’t know about you, but I localize stress in my shoulders.  This is common.  I know when things are out of control because my neck starts to feel immobile.  Getting a massage helps release all that crap and is kind of like pressing a reset button.  Read my article on the benefits of massage here.

Get enough sleep.

You know how when you’re tired, everything irritates you? Yeah, there’s a reason for that.  Enough sleep is so, so vital for managing your stress level.  If you need 10 hours, get 10 hours.  They say 7 to 8 is the ideal amount, but everyone is different.  Pick what works for you and aim for that.  My magic number is 9; I can do 8 but my body naturally sleeps for 9 when I set no alarms. Figure out what you need and honor that.

15 Killer Ways to Deal with Stress Pin - Beauty Chaos

Let. It. Go.

Hate your ex? Let it go. Mad at a friendship that imploded? Let. It. Go. Guy cut you off in traffic? Don’t let it ruin your day! There are things in this life that you can’t control. Remember, how people treat you is their karma; how you react to it is yours.  And letting things go will help with this immensely.

Get a day planner.

You guys, I’m such a nerd.  I LOVE MY PLANNER. It makes me so goddamn happy writing stuff in it.  And it has stickers.  This links right up with managing your time – there are tools out there to help you with this.  Amazon has toooonnnns of cute planners.  Pick one that makes you happen when you look at it as an extra bonus

Focus on what you CAN control.

There is something innately human about stressing over things that we cannot control.  I don’t know where that comes from.  But if you focus on what you can control, you will stress less about what you can’t. Reality is, we can’t control everything.  But we can control some things.

Practice kindness and positivity.

Trying to stay positive will become second nature if you practice it, just like everything else.  And random acts of kindness are amazing.  If you’re feeling stressed or shitty, but the person behind you in line a cup of coffee.  Or send your friend a card to let them know how much you love them.  These small acts can create a ripple effect that changes the energy of the world, I truly believe that. The result? Way less stress.


Endorphins are real. They make you feel better.  And that reduces stress.  Boom. Science.

These are just a few of the ways I manage and control my stress.  And don’t get me wrong, my life is not stress free.  But there are practices you can implement to help keep this under control. I hope some of these help you as well!

Thank you for reading! If you like this, please subscribe!

How to Manage Stress Pin - Beauty Chaos

Coping With High Functioning Depression and Anxiety

Oh, boy.  This one…well, I’ve hesitated to write about this because I kind of out myself.  I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 20, and weirdly enough, that seemed to make sense.  Why, as a child, I would obsess over things and be unable to just stop thinking about them.  Why, as a teenager, breakups broke me.  Why, as a newly minted adult, I couldn’t sleep to save my life.  For months.  And why, as I got into my early 20s, I started having these wonderful little episodes called panic attacks.

So what does this all look like?

I think everyone experiences these things differently.  For my experience, depression means worry.  Worry, worry, worry all the time.  What if? What if this happens? What if it doesn’t? Is it ever going to be okay? How will I get through this?  All. The. Time.

It means extreme nervousness about social situations.

Am I talking too much? Am I not talking enough? Oh my god, they think I’m boring.  Oh, sh*t, they hate me.  Or worse, what if I go to that networking event and have no one to talk to?

Also? Compulsive behavior. Super fun.  I don’t wash my hands a thousand times a day, but I do chew my lower lip to the point where it bleeds. The only thing that kind of helped for a while was smoking, but the tradeoff was obviously sucky.  So I stopped.  Now I chew lots of gum, and sometimes it helps.

We Are all Pretty Bizarre - Beauty Chaos

Fear of failure.

Jesus, the fear.  I wanted to start this blog back in 2013. What stopped me, you ask? What if people think I’m stupid for doing this? What if people don’t like it? What will my friends think? Surely they will think this is a trivial, frivolous, pointless endeavor.  And now that I’m actually doing it, those thoughts aren’t far away.  I just. . . shush them.

And the overwhelming feeling that this is all pointless.  Why? What are we all doing? Why struggle just to have it all end so spectacularly in a way that no one understands or can really articulate? And feeling alone in this because, oh my god, why can’t you just be happy?

Depression makes everyday life harder.

Sometimes it’s okay; other times it’s a struggle to just get out of bed and brush your teeth.

Anxiety is a little different. My first panic attack was nothing short of spectacular.  I was having dinner with a former professor of mine, and all of a sudden I felt really tingly.  And really panicky.  And unable to focus. I had to be driven to a parking lot where my mother picked me up because: a) I couldn’t drive and; b) I felt so foggy could barely put a sentence together. The result of which is laying in bed for the rest of the night trying to put together what the hell just happened, while at the same time praying that it never happens again (spoiler: it did).

Coping With High Functioning Depression and Anxiety - Beauty Chaos

Depression creates a sort of moat around you, especially when the people you love don’t get it.

And trying to explain it to them usually leads to some iteration of, “But why can’t you just be happy? Have you tried meditating? Are you sure you need that medicine?” Yeap, I do. I tried to wean off of it once and boy, did that not go well. Got to the point where those same people encouraging me to try my life without meds were practically shoving them back into my hands.

Anxiety tells you that you’re not good enough.  It whispers in your ear that you’re not worthy.  Makes you doubt yourself, your decisions, your life.  Tells you that you will never win.

Depression is not something that’s fully understandable, even when you have it.

I don’t know why there are some days that I feel awesome and other days when I can’t get dressed.  When the only thing that seems to quell the impending panic attack is curling up with my cats and watching “Friends.”  And just when I feel like I’m starting to get it, another curveball happens.

Anxiety and depression also manifest themselves in the form of extreme irritation with everyone around you.

“I just want to be positive,” you think.  “But if he/she  does/says that one more time, I’m going to scream.” Every little thing bothers you and it’s like you’re an exposed nerve, but no one can tell that and you look human and fine, but little does everyone know that you’re not. And you can’t stop it and you can’t make it better and oh my god, why can’t I sleep? Are my legs moving? Why is he breathing so loud? Why is this so easy for everyone else?

But here’s the deal.  After coping with this for the good part of 15 years, I’ve learned some wisdom I’d like to impart.

  • You are not crazy, and you are not alone.
  • It isn’t your fault, and you can deal with this.
  • You can get through this. You will succeed. You will face your fear.
  • In. You.

And in the spirit of helping my fellow depressees (not a word), I’ve come up with some coping methods that sometimes help me.

How to Cope With Depression and Anxiety:

  1. Chew gum. I know, this one sounds crazy.  But psychologists say that chewing gum is calming because it basically convinces the body that you’re eating, and that primal part of humans knows that you wouldn’t be eating if you were in danger. Weird but cool, right?
  2. Meditate Even for a few seconds. Do the 4-7-8 breathing exercise (in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, out for 8 seconds). I swear, it helps.
  3. Talk to someone you trust. Doesn’t have to be someone who completely understands.  Just has to be someone who’s willing to listen without judgment. Personally, I love therapy for this very reason.
  4. Exercise. This one’s pretty elementary, right? Endorphins. Exercise high. Increased serotonin.  And don’t wait until you feel shitty.  Exercise regularly.
  5. Go home. Look, if you’re in a situation that you can’t handle, just leave. No shame in taking care of yourself.
  6. Journal. Sometimes, just getting it all out of your brain into a different medium can help you reset.
  7. Stay off of social media. Hey, I need social media as much as the next guy, but sometimes, looking at what other people want you to think their life is like makes you feel bad.  So don’t.
  8. Go outside. Breathe fresh air. Get some sunshine. Clear your head.
  9. Stay hydrated. Dehydration can trigger panic attacks.  Seriously. So stay hydrated and if you’re hungover, drink more water 😉
  10. Take up a new hobby. I live in LA now so I feel like I don’t have a lot of need for knitting, but I learned it back when I was having a serious bout of depression and boy, did it help.
  11. Listen to some music. Something upbeat. No Sarah McLachlan. Something that always makes you smile. For me, ‘Walkin’ on Sunshine’ always does the trick.
  12. Be kind to yourself. You’re smart. You’re beautiful. You have a great ass. Tell yourself these things. They’re true and you need to hear it.
  13. Take a bath. Or a shower. Like I’ve said before, baths aren’t really my thing. Or float around in a pool, if you have access.  Just give yourself some time to breathe and chill for a bit.
  14. Focus on the positive. Gratitude journaling is huge now for a very good reason. Sometimes it’s hard to focus on what you’re grateful for when it feels like everything is terrible, but even writing down a few simple things that make you happy can turn your whole day around.  That flower you saw.  The fact that you have shelter and food and your needs are met. Your great husband.  Whatever it is for you, focus on it for just a bit.

Hopefully, these tips will bring you some relief in the midst of feelings of helpless/hopelessness.  Remember, you’re not alone. What you’re going through is real.

Depression Plus Anxiety Equals Pin - Beauty Chaos

Working at Home: How to Stay Sane, Productive and Happy in Your PJs

Working at home can be hard. And we all have that friend that seems to have more time in their day than everyone else.  You know them – they work like crazy people, sometimes more than 90 hours a week, then show up at your house on Sunday looking perfect and having baked a cake and made you something out of needlepoint.  They also have time for fun and can party with the best of ’em.  I have two friends like this and I’m still trying to find their Time-Turners (Harry Potter reference).

Unfortunately, if you’re like me, you blink and the day is over.  More often than not, I look down and think, “Oh my god, am I still in my pajamas at [insert insanely late time of the day here]?!”  Part of my problem is that naturally, I am not a morning person.  I thrive at night.  However, I love mornings.  But my habit of hitting the snooze button and not motivating myself to get out of bed and get started lessens my love of those mornings.

And I hit that snooze button until there’s a struggle and instead of waking up and conquering the day, I wake up feeling behind.  So if you’re like me and you need an extra kick in the ass to get going in the morning, here are a few ideas to help motivate you and be your own best ally in the fight to conquer mornings!

Working at Home: How to Stay Sane, Productive & Happy in Your PJs Pin- Beauty Chaos

1.    Morning yoga or exercise

Here’s the thing: I am not a morning exercise person.  I know, I know, it’s supposed to be easier and make the day better and yada, yada, yada.  It just doesn’t work for me. But when you’re working at home, it’s super important. What does work, however, is some morning yoga.  I do about four sun salutations before I have my coffee, and just that little bit to get my blood flowing is essential in kicking off my day.  If you can do it, research shows that exercising in the morning is very beneficial and sets the tone for your entire day.

2. Set a consistent morning routine.

By far, one of the most important steps for motivating yourself is having a morning routine.  That way, if you feel like you need to be on autopilot for a minute, you have ingrained a series of steps in your day that feel like they take no effort.  A good morning routine not only helps you wake up and shake off the sleep, but it also sets you up for success in your day and motivates you. For example: After waking up, meditate for 5 minutes, write down (at least) three things you’re grateful for in a journal, exercise, brew coffee, shower.  Establishing positive, continuous morning habits is a huge step towards motivating yourself to conquer your day!

3. To-Do Lists

Soooo, I’m one of those people that will write something that I’ve already done on a to-do list just to cross it off. It makes me feel so good.  If I keep a list in my mind, everything seems scattered and really overwhelming. But when I’m working from home, if I have everything I need to do written out in front of me, I am much more motivated to get it done because it feels achievable.  I make lists in my day planner, but a piece of paper works just as well.  Wherever works for you, be it on paper or an e-list, I would recommend listing as a way to keep your motivation flowing!

Working at Home: How to Stay Sane, Productive & Happy in Your PJs Pin- Beauty Chaos


4. Keep a decluttered and clean workspace

There is nothing that is more motivating for me than having a clear and clean workspace, especially when I’m working from home.  I set aside time every weekend to declutter the crap on my desk to make my life feel more organized.  Even if everything else is in chaos, a clean desk makes me feel like I have a handle on everything. If I can extend this order to my entire house, all the better.  Because here’s the thing: if my house is clean, I can work without thinking that what I really should be doing is cleaning my house. And believe me, I never feel more motivated than when I invest a little bit of money and have the house cleaners come.  Talk about productivity!

Working at Home: How to Stay Sane, Productive & Happy in Your PJs Pin- Beauty Chaos