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How to Succeed by Focusing on Failure

We all experience a fear of failure at some point in our lives, right? Unless, of course, you were born with perfect self-esteem or had a supportive family or something 😉 Impostor syndrome is real, as the hundreds of millions of TikTok views to the hashtag demonstrates. So how do you succeed by focusing on failure? Here are some helpful strategies.

Reframe Your “Failures”

Nelson Mandela famously said, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” Were truer words ever spoken? It’s okay to try and not succeed. Most successful people — whether that’s in business, relationships, or other areas of life — fail multiple times before they achieve success.

What’s important is your mindset. If you reframe your failures as a learning opportunity, you have the chance to change your mindset about failure. Instead of berating yourself, you will comes to see every “failure” as a win because it brought you experience (hopefully).

Face Your Fears

After a failure, have you ever had the thought, “Well, I’m never trying that again”? The first time I bombed at standup, I decided I would never get onstage again. (Spoiler alert: I did.) The next time I got up, I didn’t bomb, and it left a better taste in my mouth.

No one is awesome at everything 100 percent of the time. But the people who succeed face their fear of failure head on and keep battling it until they win. If a fear of failing is holding you back, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but you need to run head on into that fear. Show it who’s boss and find success through failure.

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Don’t Give Up

Again, it can be tempting to just jump ship after a perceived failure. But giving up never got anyone what they wanted. Focus on your attitude about what you’re doing. Is it something you really want? Then don’t let setbacks stop you. Celebrate small steps. And don’t give up until you’ve gotten where you want to go.

Figure out the Cause

Did you fail because you weren’t prepared enough? Or was it because you were so scared you self-sabotaged? Or maybe your timing wasn’t great. Most successful people will tell you that timing plays an enormous role in success.

If you can, step back and analyze the failure. Was there something you could have done differently? Analyzing a failure can help establish some distance, so you can view it objectively and hopefully remove some of the bad feelings there.

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Take a Pause

It can be hard to go right back into trying something after you’ve experienced a loss. Be kind to yourself and, if necessary, take a break. I cannot tell you how many times a year I quit something after a setback (writing, acting, comedy, whatever), and end up missing it in a few weeks. Distance can create perspective, allow you to process, and dive back in when you’re ready.

Own Your Part, But Don’t Lower Your Goals

This may take some distance (see last paragraph), but look at your situation honestly and ask yourself what part you played in the failure. Odds are there is something you could do differently to change the outcome. That being said, don’t dull your ambitions just because you don’t achieve something the first, fourth, tenth, or hundredth time. If you really want it, keep your eyes on your endgame and make it happen.

What are some of your strategies to succeed by focusing on failure? Leave me a comment or shoot me a note and let me know!

Stress Management 101

Stress isn’t always bad.  Good stress motivates us.  It propels us forward in our life and makes us achieve our goals.  It’s called eustress.  Good stress helps us meet challenges is everyday life.

But then. . . there’s the bad stress.  The bad stress can wreak havoc on your life.  It weakens the immune system, boosts cortisol levels in the brain, causes weight gain.  Yuck.

Here’s the thing – stress in life is inevitable.  But the way you respond to it and your coping techniques can drastically reduce the problems it causes in your life and health.  Here are a few ways to manage stress so it doesn’t become bad stress and take over your life.

The Best Ways to Manage Stress Pin - Beauty Chaos


It’s my favorite tip again! This decluttering is a little different.  This time, it’s about decluttering your relationships.  Get rid of the people in your life who are littering it with negativity.  You can’t eliminate all negativity, but if there are people who are causing you more harm than good, trim them out.  If they’re your family, cut back on your interactions with them. Surround yourself with positivity.


I am just as addicted to my phone as the next girl.  But have you ever sat at a table where everyone at it is on their phone, looked around and thought, ‘What the f*ck are we all doing?’ And social media can cause tons of stress because it brings up feelings of comparison (the killer of joy). Give yourself an hour or more every day without your phone and computer. Doesn’t have to be the TV because, hello, Gilmore Girls is the solution to all stress.  But don’t stare at the TV to close to bedtime either.

Manage your time.

I had this friend who was constantly late, constantly stressed out, and never planned properly for anything.  She was miserable most of the time and could not figure out why.  Nothing is more stressful than not having enough time in the day/week to complete all of your tasks.  I know it makes me sound like an old, boring person, but “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” has a point.  Wake up a little early if you need extra time.  Don’t rob yourself of sleep, but plan out your day in advance so that you have structure.  The busier you get, the more time management becomes a hugely important activity!

Make to-do lists.

Confession: I make to do lists and sometimes put things I’ve already done that day on them just to cross it off because it feels so good. Which lowers my stress.  See?  If you’re feeling overwhelmed, write down the stuff you’ve got to accomplish and tackle things one by one.  If you focus on one task at a time, everything becomes more manageable. It will help you feel organized and focused. And it doesn’t have to end with to-do lists.  Make a grocery list.  A chore list. A list of your blessings.  Go nuts!

Practice yoga and/or meditation. 

Does this sound familiar? It should.  I harp on this sh*t all the time.  Meditate for a minute a day.  Then increase to two.  Then five.  It will improve the quality of your life so much.  And if you don’t know where to start, check out my post on the best meditation podcasts. I also firmly believe in the healing power of yoga.  There are many different disciplines within yoga, so if you try one and don’t like it, try another.  I’m a huge fan of Ashtanga, but some people prefer Hatha.  Find your niche.

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Get outside.

Go for a walk.  Get some vitamin D (*cough* wear sunscreen *cough*) Sunlight and fresh air helps with depression and anxiety, but it will also help clear your head and help you deal better with the stress in your life.

Clean a little bit every day.

Okay, I’m bad with this one, admittedly.  My day often runs away with me.  But if I do one chore every day, it doesn’t save cleaning everything for one day of the week, and it makes my environment more pleasant.  Vacuum one day.  Clean the kitchen the next.  Do laundry on the third day.  Nothing will make you feel more a mess than being surrounded by a mess.

Set up a budget.

Hooooly hell.  I set up my first budget just a few years ago, and I cannot believe  I made it through so much of my life without one.  Stressing about money is the worst kind of stress.  It can make you feel out of control and a failure.  So again, plan.  Know exactly where your money is going to go.  Give yourself some wiggle room, if you can swing it.  And put together a savings.  You never know when your car’s going to break down or your cat’s going to get sick or whatever.  Microsoft Excel has a few great budget templates.  I took theirs and just tailored it for my life.

Get a massage.

I don’t know about you, but I localize stress in my shoulders.  This is common.  I know when things are out of control because my neck starts to feel immobile.  Getting a massage helps release all that crap and is kind of like pressing a reset button.  Read my article on the benefits of massage here.

Get enough sleep.

You know how when you’re tired, everything irritates you? Yeah, there’s a reason for that.  Enough sleep is so, so vital for managing your stress level.  If you need 10 hours, get 10 hours.  They say 7 to 8 is the ideal amount, but everyone is different.  Pick what works for you and aim for that.  My magic number is 9; I can do 8 but my body naturally sleeps for 9 when I set no alarms. Figure out what you need and honor that.

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Let. It. Go.

Hate your ex? Let it go. Mad at a friendship that imploded? Let. It. Go. Guy cut you off in traffic? Don’t let it ruin your day! There are things in this life that you can’t control. Remember, how people treat you is their karma; how you react to it is yours.  And letting things go will help with this immensely.

Get a day planner.

You guys, I’m such a nerd.  I LOVE MY PLANNER. It makes me so goddamn happy writing stuff in it.  And it has stickers.  This links right up with managing your time – there are tools out there to help you with this.  Amazon has toooonnnns of cute planners.  Pick one that makes you happen when you look at it as an extra bonus

Focus on what you CAN control.

There is something innately human about stressing over things that we cannot control.  I don’t know where that comes from.  But if you focus on what you can control, you will stress less about what you can’t. Reality is, we can’t control everything.  But we can control some things.

Practice kindness and positivity.

Trying to stay positive will become second nature if you practice it, just like everything else.  And random acts of kindness are amazing.  If you’re feeling stressed or shitty, but the person behind you in line a cup of coffee.  Or send your friend a card to let them know how much you love them.  These small acts can create a ripple effect that changes the energy of the world, I truly believe that. The result? Way less stress.


Endorphins are real. They make you feel better.  And that reduces stress.  Boom. Science.

These are just a few of the ways I manage and control my stress.  And don’t get me wrong, my life is not stress free.  But there are practices you can implement to help keep this under control. I hope some of these help you as well!

Thank you for reading! If you like this, please subscribe!

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Top 5 Reasons I Love Cardio Barre

As with most of my ideas, this one came to me in the shower.  I had just taken a Cardio Barre class, and I started thinking about the reasons that I love it.  And the reasons that I drive through LA traffic to get to it (seriously, though, so bad).  So as I was thinking about it I decided to come up with a list of the:

Top 5 Reasons I Love Cardio Barre
It makes me prettier.

I’m not saying it takes me from a 5 to a 10 or any nonsense like that.  But I can definitely see a difference in my face when I regularly take classes.  My skin looks clearer and more plump.  My eyes are brighter.  I look, in a word, younger, and I’m always on board for that, y’all.

Top 5 Reasons I Love Cardio Barre

It’s efficient.

This is a huge, huge, huge plus for me.  If you’re anything like me, you’ve put in hours and hours at the gym trying to run and stretch and lift your way to a better physique.  When I was a senior in college, I took around four hours of dance classes almost every day.  Four.  Hours.  And I smoked.  I would die today, I think.

The efficiency factor comes from combining both the cardio and the toning all into one neat little wrapper.  As far as I’m concerned, this is what sets the workout apart from other barre-based classes.  There’s usually a lot of toning and not enough cardio involved, so I’ve had to supplement when taking other classes.  But who wants to take class for an hour and then go running?  Better question: who would?

No one.  Crazy people.  Models.  I don’t know.  But the point for me is, what is the purpose of toning the muscles on your body if they’re covered in a layer of insulation that you’re not working off?  Remember the definition of insanity, folks. This class packs everything into one hour, and that’s it.  Best of all, I don’t feel like I have to go seven days a week.  If I make it to three, I feel like a champion.  Four, I might actually lose some weight.  Five and I’m having the pizza and the ice cream.

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It shapes your muscles in a specific way.

And that way is long and lean.  If you’re looking to bulk up, this class is probably not going to be your cup of tea.  Better to stay at the gym upping your poundage and drinking protein shakes.  Or however you bulk up; I’ve spent my life trying to do the opposite.

The use of low weights, specific ballet-inspired muscle sculpting moves, and good ol’ fashioned leg lifts produce results that I haven’t seen since my teen years.  Then, I was having a coach yell at me to work out.  Now I pay someone to yell at me to work out.  It really comes full circle, doesn’t it?  Seriously, though, the aerobics videos of the ’80s weren’t far off.  There are exercises that just simply work.

Top 5 Reasons I Love Cardio Barre - Beauty Chaos
Me, pre class. Hi! I was going to take a post-class photo but I was too sweaty.
Being in a class makes me work harder.

I don’t know if it’s an internal sense of competition or the instructors picking on me, but I definitely work up more of a sweat and feel different when I’ve been in a class than when I stay home and do a DVD.  Plus, there’s variety.  Fitness class instructors, no matter what your venue of choice is, put work into planning those classes so that their students don’t get bored.  Doing the same DVD every day is great and will probably help, but it won’t give the same results as an in-the-flesh instructor.

It helps my mood.

Now, this is not specific to Cardio Barre, at least not for me.  As someone who has struggled with depression most of my life, I rely on exercise to help elevate my mood.  If I don’t get some sort of endorphin rush every day, I can feel it in my psyche.  And I usually need a good boost of cardio to get that rush.

So there it is, my ode to Cardio Barre.  Seriously, though, any form of exercise is better for you than nothing.  Even walking around the block every day gets blood pumping, fresh air in your lungs, and can help with a myriad of health issues.  So get out and sweat.

Top 5 Reasons I Love Cardio Barre - Beauty Chaos
One Reason: No pointe shoes
Random Thoughts for today.

Insomnia.  Jesus.  I am having the worst insomnia this week.  I don’t know if it’s PMS or the moon or what, but my body will not let me sleep.  It’s the yucky kind, too, where I get right to the verge of sleep and then I can’t quite drive over the cliff.  It’s driving me crazy.  Hopefully by this time next week I won’t be a drooling mess, but no promises.

And raise a glass for my poor husband.  He’s so patient.  I’m sure I’m insufferable right now due to lack of sleep and he’s been babying me.  He’s been cooking dinner and being really supportive.

What’s your favorite workout?  Leave me a comment or message me here!

5 Beauty Treatments You Should Have Before Fall

  • By Guest Contributor Brigitte Evans

Well, summer is slowly coming to an end, and with it our cozy dreams of long, warm vacations and lazing around the house without a care in the world. It’s time to focus on the fall, with its rainy skies, hot coffee and beautiful warm-toned colors of fallen leaves. Fall usually means back to school or work for the most of us. Thus, we want to make sure we begin the new season ready for the new challenges, looking better than we ever did before. Want to know how to start off fall in the best way possible and look like a stunning bombshell? Here’s a few secrets.

New hair for new you

New Hair for New You - Beauty Chaos


There’s nothing like a new haircut to update your look. Since fall is coming, a visit to the salon is a must. If you want, you can stick to just trimming the ends to give it a healthier appearance. But why not be bold and try something different? A sexy, voluminous lob is all the rage. You could go for more layers and volume, or even try a pixie cut. Talk to the hairdresser and let them give you tips about what kind of cut would suit your face shape. Another thing you definitely want to do is visit your colorist. Butterscotch blonde, honey tones, and pastel strands are popular. So try something new and fun to wow people around you.

Manicure for perfect hands

Manicure for Perfect Hands - Beauty Chaos


Technically, you can do this all on your own. But there’s just something nice about going to a salon and letting the professionals take care of you. Get a pretty manicure and pick a fall-inspired nail polish color, like burgundy. Once that’s done, go home, and right before bed indulge in some easy hand care. Grab a pair of old cotton gloves, slather on a thick amount of hand cream, pull the gloves on and go to sleep. When you wake up, you’ll have gloriously soft, lush hands.

Weight loss shortcuts

Weight Loss Shortcuts - Beauty Chaos

Most of us pay attention to our diet right before vacation, but as soon as we’re back home, we treat ourselves to a bit too much candy and greasy food. Unwanted pounds are a common issue, and we’re often too busy to figure everything out as we rush to readjust to the hectic September days. Worry not, because there are shortcuts you can take that provide excellent results and can help you shape up in no time. Cavitation treatments are non-invasive and effective, and less risky and costly than liposuction. Paired with a healthy diet and some cardio, you’ll be that va-va-voom bombshell that draws sighs all around her.

Multitasking skin treatment

Multitasking Skin Treatment - Beauty Chaos


The best thing about this is that you can do it at home. We want to look good, but using twenty different products every night to help us deal with our skin issues is just exhausting. That’s why finding the right treatments is critical, preferably ones that target more than one problem and ensure you have supple, amazing skin. Kiehl’s Turmeric & Cranberry Seed Energizing Radiance Mask or similar products can help you get rid of wrinkles, dullness, and even help soothe your skin and give it a smoother appearance. DIY masks are also a good choice, and can give you incredible benefits without having to visit the salon or spend tons of money.

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Clean up your brows

If you’ve done it before and are sure you can do it well, just grab some tweezers and clean up your brows for a neat, fresh look. Or go to a salon and let them shape and pluck your brows to perfection. If your brows are too thin and sparse, microblading is all the rage these days. It will give you a fuller look, it’s semi-permanent, and it’s an easy way to get those perfect, Instagram-worthy eyebrows.

Beauty treatments help us feel good and beautiful. Whether it’s something as simple as doing a hand mask, or something more complicated like Botox, it’s on us to decide what we need. We hope these easy little tips help you so you may start this fall fresh, gorgeous and happy.

Brigitte Evans is a Cosmetic Skin Care Consultant and a writer from Australia, with a sweet tooth for makeup and everything sparkly. When she is not drooling over the next big thing in the beauty industry, she reads mystery novels and makes plans for her next trip. She is the proud aunt of Sophie, age 2, who has rounded her Chanel lipstick, but she loves her anyway.